I personally don't think it's a good idea to assume all people who are "goth" think similarly. You will find very cliquey/ elitist people that have merged the idea of being goth into their identity so much so that they can't find comfort without being around it almost exclusively. Also, you will find people who just dress a certain way as a defense mechanism to keep judgemental people away that don't actually care about your associate with goth/ industrial/ whatever.
The way this question is posed from a find and replace standpoint seems highly prejudicial. If you replace the worth "goth" with "Christian", "white," "black," "atheist," etc., it read the same. So, I would say to treat everyone individually because that's what the concept of underground/ alternative is supposed to be about.
I think the most important thing is to be genuine. If someone is going to buy clothing and go places that they don't actually like, I don't think any meaningful relationships will be built. The same things are true of most groups of people and most communities, they form around shared interest, circumstance or location. If none of these are shared, then what do you really "break the ice" with in a conversation? As you probably realize, most threads on this forum have nothing to do with industrial dancing but people come here because it's a given common ground to work with/ from.